I love this photo. It captures so much of what life is like parenting young children. Doing push-ups with my (almost!) 2yr old on my back, both of us laughing. There’s so much joy and it’s so typical… Some ‘me time’ interrupted.
I realise though, that a few months ago I wouldn’t have been looking at this photo seeing the joy. Well, firstly I wouldn’t have wanted the photo taken at all. In that moment, I would have been frustrated. Annoyed. Angry or in tears. I would have been in the mindset of “should.” I should be able to have this time. I should be able to complete a workout. I SHOULD be able to do this! But once you throw ‘should’ into the equation, there is pressure. And pressure isn’t fun. There’s no lightness or joy in pressure. It’s a heavy force that takes you out of the moment.
I decided that I don’t want that pressure. I want to be more present. Calmer and in tune. So, I’m getting rid of the ‘should’ and accepting what is.
Am I always calm and in the moment and enjoying the fact that my kids want to be with me all the time, and crawl all over me? NO! There are times when my lip is quivering as I almost beg, “can you please just give me 5mins to myself?” But you know what, that’s ok. When I haven’t been as calm or in the moment as I would like, I forgive myself and keep going. I’m progressively getting better.
I think I underestimated the power of acceptance, because when I started to accept where I am, what is happening and appreciating what I can get done in short bursts of time, I felt a lightness. As though a huge burden had been lifted. We are in this life for such a short space of time, and I don’t want to waste any more of it worrying about what I ‘should’ be doing.
Accept what is and enjoy the moment.
Much love and gratitude,
Lauren xxx